It's all the same

So I decided that I'm gonna blog, just for the heck of blogging. I think I'm gonna try vlogging tomorrow. It won't be much but it wouldn't hurt to try. Still in Ohio, we got a complimentary room upgrade. I guess someone finally saw me and well it's just a privilege to please me. No, I lied. It may happen one day, but for now I'm just like most of America. So no big deal. I am currently listening to "All the Same" by Sick Puppies. I forgot how much I love this song. Well I don't want to talk too much, I'll try to tell all about it tomorrow morning when I attempt to vlog. But yeah, if that doesn't work out, I'll just blog about it normally. So It's about 10:50 Illinois/ 11:50 Ohio. So I guess that's all I want to talk about.. Until then.

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic."
—Dave Barry

"Heeere's Johnny!"

So me and my family made it Ohio.. I didn't get to see you before we left. But I left you a message before I left, and was very happy to see a few text messages from facebook saying I had a message from you on facebook. The message you sent was so long it fit on 3 text messages. It made me smile so big that I'm pretty sure I looked like Bob Kane's Joker.

So were here at Kalahari, and there was a tornado warning. They kicked me and my family out of my our room and sent us to the basement along with the other thousand guests.. good stuff.. But I'm back in the room. So things should be alright. Well I love you, just wanted to let you know.

“The hallway of every man's life is paced with pictures; pictures gay and pictures gloomy, all useful, for if we be wise, we can learn from them a richer and braver way to live.”
—Sean O'Casey

Life, and all it's worths

Every morning I think to myself, "Why am I still here?"

I think of my family, career.. my future..

I think of the changes I can make..

the people I can Inspire..

nothing,

I sit upon my bed 10 minutes, thinking of everything I can do..

and then you come to mind..

It's then that I know, that Life is worth living so much more, when you have someone to live for.

Ever morning I think to myself, 'Why do I live?'
and Every night I say, 'I live for you.'

-just a list of notables

hello, it's about noon on this very hot day. The picture shown is actually from a while back, but I noticed that I took it, and never actually used it. It's a good thing I got the picture too, because that same day, I went out and when I came home the poor fungus was gone. So yeah, I don't really know what to say, so I'm just gonna name a few things that I've noticed in these past few days of my absence.

• I'm leaving for Ohio on Thursday and still have yet to see you.
• My only secure way of venting, is to my pillow but subconsciously to myself.
• The venting sessions with myself/pillow are way deeper than my blogging.
• I wish that I could blog like I vent, but due to my extreme laziness, I fail to do so.
• Hearing your voice, even just in the morning, Can make my whole day worth something.
• I look forward to every chance I can get to see you.
• When you invited me to hang out with you the first few times and I said I couldn't go, wasn't because of babysitting. I lied and said I couldn't because being around you is so nerve wrecking to me, that I scare myself into thinking that you won't like me for who I am.
• To this day, I get nervous when we have plans together. But soon lose my nerves when I see you smile at me when we make eye contact.
• To have conversation with you, like you have with your life-long friends is one of my few goals to achieve.
• This list is actually a lot longer than I thought it would be.
• This is my last bullet in the list of notables.

“It is easy to sit up and take notice, What is difficult is getting up and taking action.”
—Honore de Balzac

I was a good liar as a child. Now I'm better.

Alright, so I lied the last time I was on. I said I would be back the next day, and it's actually 2 or 3 days past due. Lately I've been thinking about us, If we'll make it. If we'll ever become anything more than just friends. I know that I usually bring this topic up, but I want to try something different today.

Even when we go our ways, because I know that that day will come eventually. I want you to know that I will always be there for you. Whether you want to vent about your jobs or if you ever just want to talk. I'm there. I want to be able to be the one person you can go to for everything. Advice, someone to listen, even money (which Yes, I know is rare, for you especially) I want to be more than the friend who is always there. I want to be a brother, I want to be your brother.

I like hearing your voice, I like that you make me feel like something I never thought I could be. I like that, around you, I can be whatever I want to be, and you will still accept me as the same person you've grown to know. At night, just before I fall asleep, I like to tell me pillow good night as if I were talking to you. Because hopefully, with a strike of luck and help from God, maybe one day you will hear me, for me..

"If love were like water, I'd build you a fountain
And if love were like stone, I'd bring you a mountain.
If love were like air, I'd blow you a breeze.
But as these are not love, I'll just give you me."
—Charles Wiles

"I want to tell you so much, I love you"

Don't fear forever.

You are who you are

Your love is for whomever

Touches your heart.

So it's been about a week since I blogged last. A lot happened since then. Some alright, Most great! There is so much I want to talk about, but I think it could be a little inconsiderate if I started telling random people a story that happened with me and some good friends without my best friends brother's consent. haha Hey, I love you. Alright, well I have plenty more to say, but I think I'll just let it sink in, before I go crazy. I miss you so much, that just the thought of you, makes it hard for me to breathe. Yeah I'll be back tomorrow, Promise. I have a few things I want to talk about.

"I sit here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me belongs to you."

"And why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Hello again, it's been a few days since I've updated last, so I guess there's a few things I could talk about.. But I think I'll focus on one or two. So You've been gone for quite a while, and it's kinda depressing me, I've made several promises but I just can't seem to follow through with them. They weren't huge promises, but it just really upsets me, that all I really want is you're trust but It doesn't seem like I'll allow you to even believe that you can trust in me.. I know that these were only promises to myself, and that it would be a very rare occasion if you knew what these promises ever were.. But... I really don't know what to say anymore.. We have to do something, It's the only thing that can actually make me feel better about myself. Come home soon! I just need to see you and a nice long hug couldn't hurt either..

oh and on a much less depressing note, I asked someone earlier what I should about, she said herself. I didn't.. So I felt it fair that I should at least mention her. So here's to her! :D

"It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."
—Katie Holmes (Batman Begins)

have you seen my plethora of pleather?

So I was planning on blogging about this last night, but I don't really know what happened with time and such. I mean, I guess I could have seeing as how I went to bed at around 1130 and didn't actually fall asleep till 140-ish. Well new day, and today just so happens to be a great day. The whole season 2 of Merlin is on SyFy today; which is a big deal. But I'll come back to that.. last night I had this dream, you were in it.. I loved it and not in a sorta creepy kinda raunchy way. I can get sensitive, and if you've been following my blog, you would probably already know that I'm pretty much a little girl. But yeah anyway I get all warm and happy when you just so happen to stroll around this town of dreams we live in, and decide to stop by or drop in to say hi, it's quite comforting. Okay now back to Merlin, It's been about a few weeks since I started watching.. About 2 or 3 weeks ago, I saw it on Netflix and started watching. I've always wanted to watch it, but never really knew when it was on or which channel it aired.. So I was pretty excited when I found out I could watch the first season on Netflix :3 So a week and a half passed, and I managed to finish the whole first season.. it was brilliant, if you're into that magic, medieval, kind of thing. So after I finished Season 1, I was devastated. I mean that was the only thing managing to keep me occupied when I was at home...
But anyway, I was watching the tellie and I saw an advertisement for the Merlin Season 2 finale, and it just so happens that their airing the whole second season before hand. So that was a great thing to hear, after being told that you're best friend won't be home this whole week, so you pretty much have nothing to do.. woo! Someones watching over me. :D 7/2 Hail and Well Met.